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This year signifies a ten-year milestone since the phrase “ghosting” hit the public consciousness. Initially, the notion that someone could abruptly cease contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the peak of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, finding a significant other has only become more bewildering – an commonly pointless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by social media lingo.

Gen Z, a cohort who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated challenge on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their Gen Y forerunners could ever imagine. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more extensive and more deranged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a comprehensive glossary to the words this generation is using to discuss love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the year’s most viral memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – For Zoomers, romance's gold standard is presenting as your true, raw self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means going for someone who aids you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do affordable romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to pairs who choose against parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Warning signs – Behavioral traits signaling a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions confirm your decision to date a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe niche, mostly harmless quirks. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group many young men likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet gesture.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {